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Hinge connects you to those with whom you share Facebook friends. (It's OK to admit it.) Tinder, famously, gives you the opportunity to swipe left or right on a seemingly unlimited number of men, an endless game of Hot or Not.

But the convenience of dating apps brings with it a whole other set of frustrations.

The long term and short term dating choice were non-existent, but things like cross dressing, bdsm, group sex...yeah, those were all present.

Can't say I have an interest in dressing up like a ladyman.

Is there a shared language and set of unspoken rules one must use to navigate a monogamous landscape, also reflected in the digital space?

I spoke with a few self-identified poly participants with online dating experience who wished to remain anonymous.

You're not supposed to want to put a label on whatever it is you're doing.

You're supposed to just be laid-back, not possessive, not texting too much or too quickly.

Among them I found a consensus to use OKCupid, despite some gripes.

Said one couple I spoke with: “OKCupid has been the most effective in finding long-term partners as opposed to one-off hook-ups.

Also it turns out this site is just a new age porn site, you need to pay to see people profiles, email them, etc.

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