Should I say, “Well, I don’t hook up right away, so most guys get bored with me, and that’s why I’m single!
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It feels different, because it feels more like I’m rejecting a person, well, personally, rather than saying they aren’t the right fit or we had more qualified applicants. I do indeed think the etiquette for rejection in different in these two situations: It’s much more acceptable not to reply to messages from would-be suitors on online dating sites than it is for employers not to reply to job applicants.
I also think I would get more pushback of the kind hiring managers sometimes get when we reject an applicant. Part of it is just a difference in conventions — the professional conventions for hiring are different than the conventions for online dating.
You might think it would be more likely with the dudes whose initial messages are already a little sketchy, but it’s not uncommon to also receive abusive responses to rejection from the guy whose first message was polite, unassuming and/or charming.
Given that, it’s just the smarter option for women who don’t want to field a bunch of hostile and insulting messages not to respond to people to say “thanks but I don’t think we’re the right match.” Now, it’s certainly true that some job applicants also respond to rejection with hostility, but (a) they’re far less numerous than in online dating, (b) the intensity of the hostility seems to be lower, and (c) it’s part of the job in that situation to deal with the occasional whacked out response to rejection.
” The world already gives single girls the side-eye; there really is no need to bring up singledom on dates.
You’re so pretty, I’m surprised someone hasn’t taken you off the market!
Turn on the TV and it’s not about kittens being saved from trees, but drive-by shootings.
That doesn’t mean there aren’t plenty of kittens saved from trees.
When I found out the message was actually ripped from a pickup artist's website, that didn't shock me either.
After all, I regularly receive online dating messages like this: Though I haven't seen that one on pickup artist forums, I have a feeling it's a classic example of "negging"—the pickup artist technique of saying something unkind about a woman so that she'll seek validation from you.
Berger's video introducing the message, for example, titled "How to F—k girls on Tinder", has earned nearly 300,000 views. When I read about the Tinder message on various websites, it looked familiar— it's tough to forget something that crude.